Whenever I’m making the twenty minute walk from school back to my house, interesting thoughts/philosophies/ideas/images pop into my head. Today was no different except that what I felt was more of an instinctual feeling; something deep inside that didn’t really have words, just underlaying emotions. Much like a dream that you can remember, but you can still feel the emotions involved.

I think I can put this into words though, because it wasn’t a unique thought. I have a social context into which I can pidgeon hole the feeling. I can label them, or more importantly, I can describe them. Much like someone who’s never had a drink of alcohol in their life can list off the qualities of being drunk.

As I was walking, I saw the world dry into a painting. In fact, the entire universe became a two dimensional object - including my body - and my mind was mearly a spectator in a museum. As my mind explored the gallery, it came to realize that there was nothing it could do to exit the gallery. Unless it separated itself, or walked out the door, the only activity it would ever do would be to stare at the painting of the universe - how dull! If coming to a realization that the mind and universe can be separate, than it may be possible to somehow actively separate my mind from the universe. I wonder what lies beyond the doors of the museum!

Anyways, back to reality! I haven’t posted in ages, but really nothing much has been going on. I’m back to the old routine. School, sleep, study, work, CCOP, TM, singing, masterclasses, sometimes yoga. The only difference is an absolute feeling of bliss that is eminating from inside of me.

Before you say it, I know! I’m resembling a new-age whacko today, but honestly I feel differently these days. This has been self-dedicated as my year of transformation, and honestly, if this is only the beginning of my transformation, I can’t image how blissful I will feel a few months from now! I’ve been told at times that I’m even glowing! There a giddy quality about me that doesn’t seem to want to go away.

Even better are the vividness of my dreams lately. I’m sure that something major is being told to me in my dreams, but I’m having troubles putting my finger on the messages. I’m sure I will start to get the big picture soon and can then start delving into the details.

School is going fairly good. It has become fairly routinized for me now, but I suppose that isn’t all bad. I’m enjoying the autonomy, self-direction, self-actualization, coping skills, and hard core learning that it is bringing to me. I’m not sure that there is anything I would want to change in my entire life right now. I really feel as though I’m on the right track to something big!

Let’s hope that this “something big” will be starring in a new broadway pruduction of Evita as Che!!!

ok - so I dream big - why the heck not!

A realistic dream? To be this content for as long as flippin’ possible!

In gross disgusting news…I got my tongue pierced again. Its healing beautifuly and is ready to disturb everyone I know. The first time I had it done, it took about seven days before it felt as good as it does now after only twenty four hours. Why did I get it done? I still haven’t thought of a good reason…

Stealing an idea, I drew a card from my tarot deck and here’s what I got:

Seven of Matter,

“Patience is a virtue, earned with hard work. The seated figure is a master of his profession. He understands growth cycles and has profited frm many years of acquired experience. The disk on his seat shows that he has tasted the profits of his methods and that he has the stamina to wait until the other disks have matured properly. At this point, inaction is the best course, but be ready to move quickly when summoned.” (Thomas, 2002).

Well, obviously this is describing me at university right now. Let me tell you, its doing it pretty darn perfectly! Perhaps I’ll just go with the flow for awhile.

Thomas, J.Philip. 2002. Tarot de Paris. New York: St. Martin’s Press: 105.