Before I begin, I just want to say, I am SHOCKED at the lack of television viewing by some of those out there who have done the meme. I litereally gasped a few times when seeing what shows some of y’all have never seen. *cries a little* :)
Anyway….

After two months of crazy craziness, life seems to be calming down. For one month (May) I was in a full time practicum on a medical teaching unit. So, as is normal for a nursing practicum, we spent eight hours a day working our asses off, trying to figure out what the hell we were doing, and then spent several hours at night desperately trying to study, write papers, and create case study presentations. I loved the unit I was on, but the stress really gets to you quickly!

Amidst all that stress was my trip to Waterton. This little corner of the world (and literally, the corner of the province) is the most rejuvenating place on earth. There is a magical quality to the area, particularly the mists that hang over the hills and mountains as you make the final leg of the journey. I feel as though I could stay in our little rented cabin (home away from home) forever.

I passed my clinical. Unfortunately, I can’t say wether I did well or not because they changed the marking scheme to pass/fail rather than assigning a letter grade. Therefore, it’s possible that I just barely scraped by. From my final evaluation meeting, I know I did well.

The past month (June) was an even tougher month for me. I started my first nursing job (we’re called undergraduate nurses) on a surgical oncology unit. I just can’t believe how sick these people are! My preceptor for my four week orientation is a good nurse, but our style’s are 180 degrees different. So, I struggled to get along with him while at the same time desperately trying to learn all the strange new things the unit threw at me.

It’s July now, and I’m on my own. I had five patients my last two shifts, and it went well. I felt relaxed, everything went smoothly (especially since there was nobody breathing down my neck and looking over my shoulder), and I was surprisingly confident. By this time in nursing school, I believe that students have created their own style of nursing by picking and choosing from all the nurses they work with. This style starts to become solidified and it’s hard to adjust daily to the style of whomever you’re buddied with.

Not a day goes by that I don’t run into something new that I’ve never seen before. Not a day goes by that I’m not hunting down a nurse to ask questions, but I’m gaining a new independence and confidence that makes me very proud of what I’m doing. I am starting to feel relaxed and calm. Which is nice, because for about eight weeks in a row, I really questioned whether or not I could deal with the stress for the rest of my life.

Fortunately, I realized the stress was coming from trying to “prove myself” to people who’s values and styles don’t match my own. While I still have a million things to learn still, I’m strong in my belief that my style is best for me, and good for my patients.

I can’t wait to be an RN so that everyone will give me the respect I know I deserve.