The pendulum is swinging; I can feel it in the air! I experienced a small period of depression. Symptoms included exhaustion brought on by too many thoughts in my head for sleeping, lack of desire to get out of bed…and cd after cd of Sarah McLauchlan. These are always my coping strategies: stay-in-bed, think, and of course…Sarah.

I can actually trace the moment I entered my mini-depression back to a few days ago when a women approached me at work. She recognized me from when we were kids. We both went to a babysitter with a bunch of children for lunch and after school because are parents all worked full time.

She told me that my friend Tommy had died from a brain tumor. He wasn’t exactly a friend. He was about five years younger than me and was my little buddy, or even brother. I remember changing his diapers, and protecting him from bullies. He was just adorably cute, and he loved me to death. I certainly felt the same way.

Now I was being told that my little Tommy, who I haven’t seen in twelve years, was dead. It hit me hard, and I really couldn’t figure out why it hit me so hard. Not that it shouldn’t “hit me”, but I’ve experienced tragedies such as this before and they never affected me in such a deep way.

I do believe that I was barely hanging onto balance in my life. I was teetering on the edge of happiness and depression. Nothing seemed to be going right and one more thing could drive me over the edge. This must have been that one thing.

As depression tends to do, it got worse before it got better…hitting rock bottom when I wrote my last journal entry. Then came the staying in bed…thinking…and Sarah Sarah Sarah.

However, I felt the pendulum swing today at one simple though. I spontaneously decided it was time to get myself another hamster. In fact, I became instantaneously delirious at the thought! What should I name it?

Tommy of course!

It seemed to be a fitting tribute…in a strange, roundabout way; Acknowledging what Tommy meant to me by giving his name away to a pet that I can love and adore.

I’m almost back to being myself. I can put away the Sarah, and bring out the Broadway musicals again!