I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m struck with a lack of desire or ability to write about my life or even be introspective. At the worst of times, I’m still able to pull a philosophical thought out of my head and relate it to my life.

Something’s wrong though. I even posted my last entry in hope that it would make me think, and give me something to write about. I read it and it seems to be complete. I’m sure its not complete. I could probably analyze it to death, relating it to my life and every decision I’ve made. Normaly I could write about nothing for hours if I decided…like I’m doing now. Nothing though, I’m writing this in desperation. I’m grasping at straws for things to write. I see things every day and think “I should write about it” when I sit down to do so…I draw a blank.

Could this be writer’s block, or am I just sick of talking about life. Perhaps I feel thats its time to stop thinking about and to start “doing” life. I’m fearful that my entries will be boring to write and to read. I want to be able to look back to months previous and think “Wow…that journal entry was incredible”

I’m tired of sitting here and knowing that I have a million deep thoughts and a million things to write about, but not being able to actually physicaly write them down.

I’ll start with the past couple days. Not much has happened. I’ve just worked. Yes, I have a million thoughts on work. My mind is cloudy and I don’t know what they are anymore. I dyed my hair black with blue highlights. Why? There’s probably a really interesting reason. I don’t remember why. I met a man online who is perfect for me…and lives in Montreal. I’ve always wanted a man like him, I’ve dreamed many times of moving to Montreal. Why don’t I care. Two months ago I would have been excited and desperately prounce upon his internet words. Now, I’m just numb.

What’s happened to me. Nothing ever creates emotions in me anymore. I’m simply numb. I don’t care about anything. I just continue to let the days march on. But the band has stopped playing.

If this is what that time is during transition is like. That time between one part of your life and another…perhaps I’m lucky and something exciting is coming along. This is how I always pictured transition. Everything coming to a stop, then changing directions.