I’m so unbelievably tired these days. I’ve had barely any sleep, I haven’t had a moment of free time, and all I seem to do is study, study, study. I have never studied this hard before in school. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever put this much commitment into anything in my life.

The sad thing is that although I’m putting in more time than ever before, I still bombed a test on monday! It was a rough moment when I looked through the short answer questions worth fourty five out of ninety marks and I only new a couple answers. The amusing thing is not that I struggled for an hour trying to fill in the spaces with possible answers, but that after writing the test, I realized that I just threw in bits and pieces of every other class I’m taking right now. The sad thing is that I studied so hard that I’m positive I got one hundred percent on the multiple choice, and probably only a couple marks on the written portion. That means that I’ll get just over fifety percent.

At least I know exactly how much effort I’ll need to put into my next exam. In fact after writing that test in the morning, knowing I had a test in the afternoon from the same professor and the same format, I knew exactly what to study and I did absolutely amazing on my afternoon exam!

However, I decided that the effort I was putting in now still wasn’t enough and that its time to kick it up a notch. The problem is that I’ve spread myself thin with so many extra curricular activities, plus work, that this means even less sleep. So, I’m walking a fine line right now between enough sleep to survive and still function…and being to tired to even absorb the simplest concepts. The fortunate thing is that the extra curricular activities are keeping me sane. Yoga relaxes and energizes me, gives a creative outlet for my tension, and work allows me to focus on something that I can do with my eyes closed and extremely well…even if its only for a few hours.

So, I’m slowly starting to look less and less health. However, this isn’t about health, its about pushing every limit I ever had so that I will no longer feel like a failure for dropping out of school. Thats only one thing! Its good to push limits and set the bar higher than you ever thought possible. Although I feel like shit honest to goodness, emotionaly I’m feeling better than ever because I feel more challenged than I ever have been in life.

To all you people out there that go through school getting A’s with barely any effort…I’m completely jealous of you. However, I think you missed the real lessons that school has to offer.