My favorite Tori Amos song. “God sometimes you just don’t come through…do you need a women to look after you.” How’s that for blasphemy! I love the thought that God is just hired as managment in a giant corporation and his workers are starting to complain that life for the pee-ons just isn’t acceptable. The meek are inheriting the world and they want God’s power to go with it! Is it true that if a women looked after God the world would be a better place. My thoughts…when men rule the world, too much action and violence without thought creates a shitty atmosphere. Women ruling the world, too much talking and discussing and sharing of conflicting feelings and solutions leads to nothing getting solved. Have you ever felt this way at work about a boss? I still thing the work place runs better with one male boss and one female boss. I’ve had every combination. I still think the universe would run better with female AND male energies watching over it. Well…that is what I believe and use as my spiritualality. I better believe it!

Unlike Sarah Mclauchlan who brings out the darkness within me and throws it out as tears, Tori takes every thought and emotion I own, smashes them together into a ball and stomps on them and molds them into a pretty statue of what’s truly bugging me. It burns a beautiful storm in the back of my mind. It takes me on thought paths that I didn’t know could be followed. Incredible.

Work was better today. Nothing went wrong. I stayed longer than I should have because Lucy was sick. By the way, I no longer despise Lucy. After working together for a few weeks we’ve truly become comfortable with each other and our place in the organization. She seems a lot more relaxed and able to have a good time. I’m glad things have changed with her, it makes work bearable again.

“I want to be a real estate agent” I say, “Do you think anyone would buy a house from me?”

“No” she says honestly

“Me either”

We both laugh at our honesty.

“Why would you want to do that” she adds

“Cause I’ve always wanted to be the person who walks people around show homes in fancy new neighbourhoods.” I explain

“Oh come on…you would just spend the day organizing a volley ball game using the plastic television as the ball and the island in the kitchen as the net.” She says with a straight face.

“True…but you’d get nothing done because your entire day would be spent obsessivly compulsivly adjusting and readjusting the plastic television, because you just can’t get the angle right.”

“We know each other too well” she says.

“yup”

So, aside from an extra clutzy day and almost being fired the day before, work seems to have calmed back down into habit. Things seem normal, our routine is written in stone and we are used to it and enjoy it. Therefore I just KNOW its about to change for the worse. This pendulum swing towards happiness always indicates worse things to come.

I haven’t talked to Montreal Mark in at least a week, so if you’re out there HELLO, and I miss you too:) Super sweet men like him are so hard to find, and when you do they’re always 3000km away.

Rain, my cat, who I don’t think I’ve mentioned in my journal has seemed to be capturing my soul more and more every day with her intellegence (When a doors closed, she’ll jump…trying to turn the doorknob…its the sweetest thing). I forget why I’m mentioning this. I guess my thougts are still a million and scattered.

Wendy just ICQ’ed me telling me to call her immediately. I love her dearly, but I’m tired of her emotional trauma, and I hate talking on phones…I’m bad at it. I owe the world a shoulder to cry on…I know I’ve used a phew myself. I guess I should go call her.

I’m just going to stop giving good emotional advice. Too many people keep on coming back:)