*warning, pathetic Calgary Olympic sentimentality coming up*

So, I just finished watching Cool Runnings. Its about the Jamaican Bobsled team that competed here in Calgary in 1988.

Now, there never has been and never will be another that leaves me bent double, sobbing with loud sobs like Cool Runnings. I know its supposed to be a silly comedy about Jamaicans that seem completely out of place in Calgary. However, the most vivid memory, and for probably every single Calgarian at the time was the Jamaican bobsled team.

I remember that to be cool in school, you simply had to have a Jamaican bobsled team t-shirt. We all had one! I remember the strange, welcoming love we had for this team of outsiders. I even got to stand at the bobsled track and see them zip by a couple of times.

They were simply the coolest, most loved people in town during the Olympics. Everybody watched with intensity as they went down for their final run. Poised, perhaps for a medal. We all saw as their sled flipped over and they crashed with such intensity that I’m sure we must have screamed.

So, as the four bobsledders walk accross the finish line with Calgary in the background, my body just gives into the tears and the sobs. Then when I see the Dad of one of the bobsledders in the audience, I wail so loud a baby would be jealous.

I’m sure that if I wasn’t so pathetically sentimental about the olympics, I would just think it was a funny, silly movie with a sweet, charming ending. I’ll never know.

Otherwise, it was fun reading my post from last night in absolute fear of what it was going to say. I was in quite a drunken induced state of giddyness. Incredibly enough, besides a few grammer/spelling mistakes from my numb, unsure fingers, I pretty much said exactly what I was trying to.

I was certainly the belle of the ball last night. People online were even telling me that if they whenever they go out, it’ll have to be with me because I’m so much fun.

The afterglow of falling for someone has faded. (and no, I’m not ashamed that it happens so fast for me, I just know what works for me, and I don’t waste my time when I find it!) In fact, today my giddyness is almost completely gone. Washed away by reality. I mean, what I was trying to say last night was that there was nothing more I could do. Friday night I met a guy I was attracted to and choked. I crumpled. However, last night, I put in the performance of a life time. Even though I’m certainly not his type and it would never happen, I’m simply happy at myself for simply being myself in such a situation.

Glen privated me in the chatroom today. I was in the other room watching Cool Runnings. I missed it, and I’m completely upset that I didn’t get a chance to flirt with him. Perhaps its my signal to just let it be. If he wants me, he’ll find me, I’m sure. If I work up any sort of courage to come clean with my feelings, I can find him. I’m sure.

*sigh*

Its time to move onto other men. Perhaps I’ll get all goofy over a man tonight, and I came make it a perfect hat trick for the weekend. Or perhaps, third times a charm.

I mean really! Like I’d ever get my hopes up. I lost that skill two years ago.

Now I just expect the worst! Is that why I’m single? Instead of jumping into life like a fool, not calculating endings, I rationalize everything towards an impossible, or undesirable end.

Oh well…C’est la vie!

I mean, thats what works for me right now. Cautious distance from any emotional ties. Like a shy cat the gets close to your hand but will always scurry away.

I just hope that I have a great time tonight! It’ll be a shame for this night to go to waste!