Archive for the 'Blogging' Category

Published by Sean on 05 Jun 2007

Updates

I am starting to fall in love with the changes to my sight. Sometimes change just takes a bit of time to get used to. I like the crisp, clean look that I have developed.

Last night I changed the look/feel and deleted non-nursing sidebar items and links. Today I have added three items:

1. I lengthened my “About Me” page by adding some more detail. Eventually I would like to have quite a lengthy description there of my life and beliefs.

2. I added a paged entitled “Vision.” For now, I have simply copied/pasted from a previous post I wrote. However, this will be an ever-evoloving page devoted to what I feel the future of nursing will look like. Nurses are professionals, but our current style of work pulls us in the opposite direction toward a more “blue collar” description.

3. I permanently included a poem by Walt Whitman entitled “The Wound-Dresser” about his experience as a nurse during The Civil War. I particularly like the last stanza, as it describes beautifuly the life of a nurse (not to mention its interesting allusion to Walt’s homosexuallity).

I think I have completed all the changes that I will make in the short term. From here, I will let the site develop organically as it desires. I hope you all enjoy what I have done, and I welcome any and all feedback.

And please please PLEASE, if you would like me to link your blog or website, just leave a request in my comments.

Sincerely,

Sean

Published by Sean on 04 Jun 2007

Fresh

Well, I have to admit that I am not happy with the new look. However, after pouring through hundreds of themes, this is the best I could do. I did indeed find an absolutely perfect theme, but in the end, it just didn’t work. And I certainly don’t know enough coding to customize these themes.

On the plus side, I do feel that the fresh, dewy leaves do a great job of representing both spring and the rebirth of this website!

So! Here it is in all it’s glory. It isn’t much right now, and I definitely have bigger plans. Please stay tuned for some exciting times here in my little corner of the world. I plan to rock the world of nursing!

Published by Sean on 04 Jun 2007

Get out the Hammer, Nails, and Paint! I’m renovating!

I have decided to refocus my blog into a strictly (or perhaps 90%) medical/nursing blog. While I will still update regarding my personal life, those posts will be few and far between.

Here’s what I want my blog to look like:

1. Stories from the front lines! I want to share stories of my triumphs and failures from my life as a Registered Nurse.

2. Reaction to news articles

3. Sharing nursing/medical journals that I have found and read.

4. Links to nursing/medical blogs, nursing websites.

In general, I want to create a professional themed environment with an meta-theme of nursing advocacy.

I apologize, but I will be removing personal links from my sidebar and specifically listing nursing blogs etc. (see above). I still love you all and will read your blogs every day, but it just doesn’t fit into my theme.

The reason I am doing this is because blogging about my personal life just doesn’t work for me anymore. When I first started blogging many years ago, it was an anonymous world. I could share my deepest secrets. Now, the blogging world is full of friends/coworkers, and I just don’t find myself interested in sharing my secrets (meaning…things I wouldn’t tell you in real life…which, to be honest, isn’t much). I am bored of just making superficial lists of what I have been doing (which isn’t much).

On top of that, I an a nursing geek. I want an outlet for my love of research. I want a place where I can shed a positive light on this profession I love. I also want a place where I can show that nursing education does not end when school does!

OK, I made this sounds way less casual than it will be. We’ll see what shape this place is molded into. For now, you will see the format/look change frequently as I seek a website I’m happy with. If you have any suggestions or feedback, PLEASE send it my way!

Let the construction begin!

Published by Sean on 23 May 2007

Ebb and Flow

Yes, it has been more than a month since my last post. However, after about seven years of blogging, I’m quite aware that my desire to post ebbs and flows. There will be times where I excitedly blog every day. Other times, I will go weeks without posting. Lets face it, blogging is a lot of work! I think the only regret I have is that regular posting generally equals regular readers. I crave the hordes of readers other bloggers have, but they typically post at LEAST once a day.

That’s enough talk about how often I post! Too many of my posts start with a similar speech. I also want to mention that I’m aware that I have been tagged for the “eight random things” meme. I will try writing that in the next couple days. For now, I would like to update my last few weeks!

Believe it or not, I took a vacation! It was the first time I had more than two or three days off in a row since I went to Boston for ten days…four years ago! And before my Boston trip, I hadn’t had more than two or three days off in a row since 1997 when I went to Seattle. One vacation in ten years is insanity! My habit was to just get my vacation paid out.

So, to have two weeks off felt great! I didn’t go anywhere and I didn’t do anything. I watched a lot of television, walked my dog often, played on the Internet, and read. The most exciting experience was buying my new car! I bought a 2007 Galaxy Grey Honda Civic LX coupe with a manual transmission.

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The absolute highlight of my vacation was my David Lynch film festival. I watched Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Dr., and several episodes of Twin Peaks…all in the same day. This weekend I am going to see his new movie, INLAND EMPIRE. I’ve heard it described as one of the craziest movie going experiences of all time. Apparently it makes no sense…and well…what else would I expect from David Lynch?

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Charlie really is driving me to the brink of insanity. He’s a walking contradiction! He is so easy to train with simple obedience exercises. He has no problem learning how to sit, lie down, loose leash walk, and his recalls are nearly flawless and reliable. Unfortunately, his potty training is getting worse every day (despite taking him out every 2-3 hours and watching closely for signals that he has to pee. He is also SO destructive when it comes to ripping up paper. And after trying everything in the books and out of the mouths of our obedience trainers…he still bites…A LOT! So, sometimes it feels as though we have the greatest, smartest dog, and other times I’m nearly in tears wondering what I’m doing wrong.

Charlie is actually done his puppy classes (sadness). They were incredibly fun! A lot of it involved him just running around socializing (playing) with other dogs. Charlie loves chasing puppies, being chased by puppies, and play fighting with puppies. Even more than that, we adored our Friday nights watching dozens of incredibly cute puppies running and jumping. As one woman put it, “you can feel your blood pressure going down by the minute!”

He will be starting true obedience classes on June 7th. It’s time to get a bit more serious with the training! He will learn to increase his attention span, gain self-control, and all the usual basics (sit, lie down, loose leash walking, etc. etc.). I truly love the facility I’m using. They are so incredibly friendly and knowledgeable!

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Well, I have worked three shifts since the end of my vacation. I feel calm and at peace while at work. There is definitely a different vibe within myself while I go about my day. I will admit that I lucked out with my patient assignment, but in general, I feel as though I am starting to really enjoy this career.

Which reminds me!!! I received my RN license in the mail! When people ask me if I’m an RN, I no longer have to answer, “Sort of…I have my degree…and I passed my test…but I’m waiting for my license to arrive in the mail.” Yes, it’s all over and official, I’m the real deal!

It has been fun during the last few days watching the undergraduate nurses starting their jobs on the unit. I’m fascinated by the fact that only one year ago I was exactly where they are now. I am amazed and proud of how far I have come since then. It has been one hell of a year!

Of course, I celebrated my graduation from school and my registration as a nurse by promptly signing up for the “Advanced Studies in Critical Care Nursing” program at Mount Royal College. It is five courses long (physiology, pathophysiology, pharmacology, and assessment of critical care patients, followed by a practicum) and will provide me with the beginning training needed to transition to the ICU or ER. So yes, starting in fall, I will once again be a nursing student! I’m still very disappointed in the lack of critical training in Canadian schools as a basic part of becoming an RN!

Well, after going a month without posting, I could go on for ages. However, this post is getting long! So, I have decided to stop here. I will try to be a better blogger in the coming weeks.

Published by Sean on 16 Jan 2007

It’s 02:38 and I’m happy and relaxed!

The only thing I love more than night shifts, are the days off between night shifts. Right now I am watching DVDs of Northern exposure, drinking pressed organic english breakfast tea, warming up lentil soup, and chatting with a close friend online (one that I rarely run into).

I love that I have no choice but to hang out on my couch and relax. I can read, watch movies, write, or do any of a HUGE list of fun activities. No errands allowed (or possible)!

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Today was day two of computer training at the hospital. I can’t wait until the new system is in place. I am completely in love with it! More than that, I love that I know the system inside out (I worked with it for months), while others on my unit will struggle with it! I was even showing the instructor of our course how do to certain things.

I just love that the power differential will shift (even if only briefly). I can’t wait until the nasty, mean, power-tripping nurses have to come to me for help. If I wasn’t a better person, I would be planning all my snotty responses, and cruel ways to say no.

I will settle for being needed….

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I recently bought a crockpot. I am in love with the thing! It is so easy to make hearty, health, home-cooked meals. I like the whole “Throw it in, turn it on, and forget it” philosophy that goes along with the contraption.

I’m on the hunt for great recipes. If anybody has one that is simple, PLEASE, throw it my way and I will try it.

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I feel a cold coming on tonight. I feel very guilty, but I may have to call in sick tomorrow. I know that we’re probably already short-staffed as it is. I know it’s bad to do so, but I may just drug myself with SudaFed and tough it out. I just don’t want everyone to be “screwed over” because I couldn’t handle a cold.

I’m not fully sick yet. However, I’m having one of those days where every hour feels closer to sickness. My throat is getting scratchier, my lungs are feeling ticklier. Perhaps it will be gone when I wake up (hopeful thinking).

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I’m frustrated with my blog. I feel the need for a change, but I just can’t find a look that I enjoy. I have tried on dozens of templates and not a single one feels right. I love the simple light grey that I currently have. It just works for me.

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Anyway, that’s enough of my late night ramblings.

Published by Sean on 21 Sep 2006

Another Step Forward in the Blog World

I sat reading the email over and over again. It was time to renew my .mac account. This was going to cost me about $170 dollars. I reviewed all the reasons why I should or shouldn’t renew my membership. The only reason I could come up with is that I love having a blog that is separate from livejournal or xanga or blogger etc. It was on my own webpage that felt like my own little “Third Space.” But unfortunately, I was paying all that money and was barely using any of the features of the .mac account.

I realized that for the price I would pay for a .mac account, I could have my own domain name, even MORE creative freedom (not that I really have the technical ability), and much more space for audio and video blogging. Not to mention $170 would buy me much more than one year!

So, I took the plunge and registered my own website!

I am here to introduce NurseSean.com!!!!!

Feel free to check it out. Don’t expect to be wowed thought. It really isn’t different from anything you have seen so far. Over the next couple weeks I will be playing with it to get a look I really like, so expect it to change a billion times.

I found a program that will automatically cross post all my entries to livejournal, so you’ll still be able to read what I’m writing for a short time. However, I do plan to shut down all my sites in a couple months so I can say goodbye to all the cross posting and confusion.

once again, that’s http://nursesean.com

See you there!

Published by Sean on 03 Mar 2005

Thursday March 3, 2005 at 07:28 pm

“Everyone has their own way of coping….” He says.

“I walk in circles and chirp like a chickadee,” I tease. Laughing at the absurdity.

But I love the way that sounds in my mouth. Chirp like a
chickadee. It flows. I need to find some way to use
it. Perhaps wrap a poem around it. And hell, Chickadees are
one of my favorite birds with their incredibly song, “Chickadee dee dee
dee”

It reminds me of that nature magazine I read as a child. It was
meant for little kids around five years old or so. When you aged
a little bit, you read a magazine entitled “Owl.” Same thing, but
more mature content. Kind of like scouts in magazine form.
There was even a television show named “Owl TV.”

Anyway, just doing some rambling on for no particular reason.

This feels freeing. My friends aren’t reading this. I don’t
feel like people are judging my writing style, or life, or
thoughts. I can write whatever I want, and have nobody to answer
to.

Brilliant

Published by Sean on 01 Mar 2005

Tuesday March 1, 2005 at 11:51 am

I am starting this page because I wish to be anonymous.

I have
another blog out there on the WWW, but I have found my frequency of
posting slowing down considerably. For awhile, I thought perhaps my
life just wasn’t as depressing as it was needed to write long, soulful
posts. However, I have a new theory. I think, because all my friends
now have access to my blog, I am no longer able to be completely honest
with myself.

I censor myself. I write on the surface. I am
afraid of hurting someone by what I say. So, I need to dive back into
anonymity. This is where I started from years ago when I started, and
from which, I made beautiful, revealing, powerful posts. I hope to
discover this once more.

I will start with two current
obsessions. The first obsession is with the new Tori Amos CD “The
Beekeeper. What an incredibly beautiful CD. It hasn’t received the best
of critical review. But fuck the reviewers! Absolute beauty and power
in her words and sounds. And I listen to her as I speak.

My
second obsession is the latest Margaret Atwood book, “Oryx and Crake.”
An Orwellian masterpiece!!! I’m about three quarters of the way
through, and I’m intrigued by the quiet way the book unfolds itself,
revealing pockets of information. Read it!!!

I wonder how long it will take for my friends to find me….and interesting game I am playing…

Published by Sean on 28 Feb 2001

memories….

Have you ever listened to Beethoven’s 9th symphony. I mean ACTUALLY listened to it as though it were the only thing that existed on earth. Listened to it as though it were a thunderstorm keeping you awake at night with its beauty. Experienced it as though the movements were the lovers of past present and future. Have you ever stopped listening to it and instead become t he music. Gritted your teeth in anger at the first movements, breathed a sigh of relief at the third and wept at the beauty of the fourth. This piece of music always has and always represent every ounce of my existence. All of its pain, torture, beauty, and joy.

Written by a deaf man….thats why you feel Beethoven’s music….you don’t listen to it. Thats all he could do.

Today began with a memory of a dream I was having. It was about Dan. A man who broke my heart and moved to Toronto a year ago. In the dream he came to town to visit, towing along his boyfriend. Ignoring my existence. The dream meant nothing to me. The wave of memories and pain it brought me meant everything today.

As the radio played, all I seemed to hear were memories of Dan, songs from the past that were my favorite at that time. At work I could hear his voice, and feel his presence near me. I remebered how every day I watched the clock eagerly, knowing that at 3pm, I would go straight to see him. On the way home, I felt the pain of him leaving, of my heart tearing as his absence gnawed away at my existence. I felt the months of waiting for him to come back from Halifax, only to say “Hi, I’m moving to Toronto in two days” the day he arrived. I remembered the tears I hid from him those two days, the ones that burned my cheeks everytime he turned away. I remembered going home at 3am the night he left and breaking everything I could find, smashing them against some object or another. I rembered the addiction to ephidrine, it was the only thing that broke my depression, and allowed me to focus on something other than him. It made me too energetic to lie in bed and think about him. I remembered when he came to Calgary six months ago to visit friends, seeing him once, and then hiding for the month he was here so I wouldn’t have to see him.

The pain twisted inside me. Proving it wasn’t gone, just well hidden.

The day is warm though, and the temperature 20 degrees higher than it was this morning. I have my Beethoven…the only reflection of my pain. I have my cat, and the teddy bears given to me last September while in pain from my appendix opperation. I have my cigarettes.

Ode to joy……

Leo’s Rain