Nurse Sean (dot) com

I’ll be honest: I really don’t have anything exciting to blog about. It’s just been one of those weeks that has been going a little TOO smoothly. Yes, I’m waiting for the other shoe to fall–did I get that saying right?

I’m back on night shifts, which is a definite pleasure after a month of working day shifts. I was at the point where I’m sure I would have screamed–loudly–and possibly cried if I had to work one more day.

The issue is that our day shifts are incredibly short-staffed. When you come to work in the morning, you have a pit in your stomach because you can’t help but be completely anxious about what you’re getting yourself into. Rarely do we have an appropriate assignment, instead having to run around taking care of our overcapacity beds (yes, you’re lucky now if you’re in a bed rather than lined up in the hallway on a stretcher). It’s not unusual to have six or seven patients now–which is completely dangerous and inappropriate.

Keep in mind, CNAs here don’t do vital signs, don’t do glucose monitoring, don’t empty drains, and only help with morning care–rather than be expected to be responsible for it all.

Night shifts are different. Because day shifts are so horrifying right now, everyone wants to work nights. In fact, contrary to the norm, straight night positions are a hot commodity currently. Everyone has requested to work nights! Also, because they are better staffed and less stressful, there are less sick calls.

Night shifts actually feel “safe,” rather than that feeling of impending doom that comes with day shifts. We have time to socialize and talk. We aren’t rushed to get everything done. We feel like normal people in a normal job working at a humane pace.

If it weren’t for night shifts, I’m not sure I would have lasted through my first year post nursing school.

Check out this vein light from Luminetx. Apparently, you just slap the big square sticker on and it reveals all the veins. That would make starting IVs so much easier! But, I can’t help but wonder: if you make starting IVs easy, wouldn’t that take all the fun out of the task?

Edit: I looked at the picture without reading the description. To me it looked like a big square sticker that you apply to the skin–that somehow reveals veins. It’s actually a big machine that shines that square green light. Still cool! But now I feel the need to invent sterile, disposable stickers that you can apply to the skin, revealing the veins. Since it would be sterile you could just poke right through the sticker.

A comment on my last post by Jen who writes over at Keep Insite Open (which I love because I’m a HUGE believer and supporter of Harm Reduction Theory) made me look back over my journal entries from my first year in nursing school. This led me to this little post that I wrote about my very first day in clinical and my feelings about patients and hospitals. I can’t say I feel exactly the same way now–several years later-but it was interesting to compare. 

Hospitals lack any sense of time…

That’s the first thing I noticed when I stepped foot into the hospital for the first time as a student nurse about three months ago. And as I find myself there several hours a week, with more nursing responsibilities at every moment, time means less and less.

When you’re dying, whether fast or slow, it doesn’t tend to happen on a schedule. Sickness happens when sickness happens, and Pain exists at night as it does in the day. The hallways are always brightly lit, and there’s always traffic.

It’s as though you step from one reality right into another as you pass through the hospital’s entrance. There’s a strange, intangible barrier that separates the outside world from the hospital. It’s filled with fear, uncertainty, and mystery.

The day is measured by bowl movements, diaper changes, needles, physiotherapy, pain, heartache. Who has the presence of mind to notice the time flying by. After eight hours on my feet, I feel as though I could go another thousand…because I truly care about the patients I discover. And I know that when I step through that barrier, and back into the real world, I will never see, or know about the patients I cared for. All I want to do is stay with them…

I think it’s I fall in love with every patient I encounter. Not romantically of course, but in what I could only imagine a mother-child relationship to be like. I mean, I’ve cared for patients who couldn’t talk, walk, communicate, or truly think. They simply sleep, eat, pee and poo…so I only feed them, change their diapers, clean them and make sure they’re comfortable. They are fully dependent on me for their care, and that takes a leaps of emotion for me.

There’s also a sense of immense fear. No matter how much we practice the skills on each other, and study the theory and science, when they scoot you into a room, point to a patient, and say, “he’s all your’s,” the most prevalent emotions is excruciating panic. They may as well have been telling me to perform open heart surgery…

But what’s there to do but take a deep breath, and dig in…do your best…struggle through…make it happen. So far, the struggle has only become bigger…wider and deeper, but at the same time, the rewards become infinitely greater. It feels as though piles of bricks are continually dumped on me. I’ll just keep putting them aside, one by one.

There’s infinite pages of things I could say about my first few experiences in the hospital. The incredibly simple, yet life changing moments just keep on coming…but there simply isn’t enough time in my life to express them properly…..

As for my personal life… *laugh* …I’ll let you know when I have one again

Well, I nearly squealed with delight! I nearly jumped from my chair and did a happy dance! And no, I didn’t discover that last night’s Red Sox game was just a bad bad BAD dream…

No, I moved up in the rankings! This webpage that lists health care blogs from best to worst has decided that I deserve a higher ranking. Last week I was ranked 353; however, I am currently ranked 335! Seriously, thats 18 ranks higher!

I would like to thank my daily readers and especially those who have added me to their blog rolls. To those that have added me to a RSS aggregator, you have made me what I am <Sean starts crying> today. Of course, thanks goes to my Mom and Dad and to all the members of edrugsearch.com.

ok ok ok…I’ll stop the sarcasm. I’m not making fun of edrugsearch.com, just poking fun at myself. I think it’s actually really neat that they have created a space to celebrate quality health care blogs. And no, this message was not solicited by edrugsearch.com

Sadly, I wish that after seven years of blogging, I would at least break the top 100. But, there’s not much I can do to change my ranking. I would need a lot of links to my page….quickly.

I just need to accept the fact that my blog is just a small quiet blog that was never intended to hit the big time. It’s more an “independent film” blog than a “blockbuster summer action feature” blog.

<begin daydream>

Still, who doesn’t crave the prestige, power, and money that comes with being famous? The wide-eyed excitement as the site meter climbs exponentially; the knowledge that whatever you say will be discussed and linked by other blogs within moments; the dreams of earning a living from adsense revenue–or even better, companies banging on your eDoor to buy ad space.

</end daydream>

But what makes the difference between a blog that nobody gives two &#$*@# about, and one that people admire and obsess over? Just take Dooce for example. Her blog is similar to millions of blogs out there: it is well written, interesting, and has great pictures. But, unlike those millions of blogs, her blog is ranked 80th on Technorati–out of millions upon millions of blogs. How did she become absolutely and utterly famous in the blogging world? Well, if I knew that, I would bottle it and sell it for millions!

For now, I will continue to chug along, try new things, network, discover new ways to get my web address out there, and most importantly: continue writing. After all, isn’t this supposed to be intrinsically rewarding? Well, sure! And it is! But can’t we all dream of a little extrinsic greatness?

I will talk to you all soon! Keep up all the great writing. Healthcare blogs are one of my favorite sources of entertainment–and you never leave me wanting!

Sean

Edit: The day after writing this I rechecked the rankings. I have dropped to 363th place from 335. Was it something I said? *sigh*

Well, I can’t say it has been an overly exciting week. I was in our high observation unit where the nurse/patient ratio is 1:2. I really love being assigned to these patients: mostly because I feel I can do a better job with only two patients–even though they are much sicker.

One of my patients developed a pulmonary embolism–which always scares the crap out of me! However, because I only had two patients, I was able to catch her changing condition early. It was one of those moments where you look over at your patient and think, “something’s not right, I better do some vital signs.”

Her sats were shockingly low and her heart was in a-fib. As a result, we didn’t really know if it was a cardiac issue or a pulmonary issue. But, after a few tests (Spiral CT, P/Q scan etc.) it was, as I mentioned, a pulmonary embolism.

If I had five or six patients instead of two, it isn’t a remote possibility that she could have faired much worse. As it stands now, she’s doing great! She is improving at exponential rates.

More proof that nurse/patient ratio matters.