Nurse Sean (dot) com

I wonder if my chaotic lifestyle is starting to get the best of me. I love change and fluctuation, and despise stability and stagnation. But I’m wondering if the stress this causes is getting to me. I always have something new going. Maybe I need to settle in and just stay the same for a year.

Things with the new grove are going to start taking off soon. For the most part there has been a lot of talk, but starting in the very near future, I think it will transform from talk to action! We have so much to do and plan! I’m looking forward to diving into the mysteries of Cernunnos. So far, I already have a very different view of him than most people I hear speak of him. It seems that no matter what deity I work with, I always find that little kernel of personality that is generally ignored. I found for both Dionysius and Cernunnos there was too much focus on sexuality and silliness. I just feel that that is only one small, and occasionally insignificant aspect.

Work is having ups and downs. A week ago, I was in love with my job and was sad with the idea of moving to Victoria because it would mean leaving my unit. This week I despise my unit and and questioning my plan to work in acute adult health. Nursing is just too busy and exhausting! There’s too much work to do in so little time. It really is to the point of being unsafe for the patients. It is too stressful for the nurse to work in these conditions. I’m so tired of coming home, thinking I did only an adequate job because there wasn’t time to do a good job. I’m craving a slower paced job. I wouldn’t mind an office job, or a corporate nursing job. Something where I could work at a humanly possible pace, and perhaps even work on one project at a time.

I had an amazing b-day weekend. Richard bought me one of those neat mini speaker systems that you plug your ipod into and a guitar.

I decided to buy myself a day in Waterton for my b-day. We stayed at a beautiful hotel right in the middle of the town. The fresh mountain air was exactly what I needed! And it was so fun sharing my favorite place with Richard. We saw Cameron lake, Red Rock Canyon, and of course Waterton lake. I bough fudge, and a book on spirit bears, and a little stuffed owl. And, of course, I had ice wine tea!!! On the way home, we stopped at Frank slide, a place Richard has always wanted to see. I finally got to see that tree that starts the crow’s nest pass.

The strangest part of the trip was that it lacked its usual magical aura. When I wasn’t there for spiritual purposes, while wonderful, it wasn’t as special as usual. Plus! Cameron lake is 1000x more beautiful with snow and ice.

Plans for our move to Victoria have begun. We set an initial date of March 1st 2007. However, this is just a date to attempt. I’m not sure if it will happen. So many factors have to come together. I need to get a job first of all, and then we need to find and apartment. All from a distance. We may decide to stay in a little cheap motel for a month while we transition. So, there’s a lot to plan and do. We still need to get rid of all our stuff! ACK!

I have taken up the guitar again. I’m doing aright…fingers are sore…and too small. But all the chords are starting to come back to me. I have decided to learn scales and more detailed fingering.

I need to start writing some cheesy Spira camp songs! Send all lyrics my way

1. In three words, explain what ended your last relationship?
He found someone better on the internet…more or less…

2. When was the last time you shaved?
This morning…

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Making my morning rounds…assessing patients, giving meds, planning my day

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Practicing guitar

5. Are you any good at math?
Yes, I’m pretty darn good…Calculus almost killed me though

6. Your prom night?
Pretty boring. Showed up to my friend’s house for a house party. Some banger kids had shown up earlier and drank all the beer…so I just smoked pot all night.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Probably

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
When I graduate in December, I will be $35,000 in debt from student loans.

10. Last thing received in the mail?
A pile of bills…and my notice of approval for my fall student loans

11. How many different beverages have you drunk today?
3…Water, tea, Diet Dr. Pepper

12. Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machines?
Yup

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Janet Jackson, followed closely by the New Kids on the Block

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Nah…I’m too busy splashing in the water

15. What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
Braces were less painful than my wisdom teeth, but it was over a much longer period of time…so I’ll say braces

16. What is out your back door?
A courtyard with giant trees, grass, a pathway, and almost always kids playing and screaming.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Nope…I have to work early Saturday morning

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I like everything about the ocean.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
Yes, I love them!!!!

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
yes yes yes

22. Some things you are excited about?
learning the guitar again and better…… and moving to Victoria

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Anything red

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
nope

25. Describe your keychain:
It’s full of keys…and a belt clip….very boring and functional.

26. Where do you keep your change?
pocket….but I hate it…it gets thrown on the counter when I get home

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I presented to about 100 people last April

28. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
I like closed, Richard likes open….ARG…he always seems to win that argument.

So, Richard and I have made a HUGE decision, and this decision hasn’t come lightly or even overnight, even though it may seem that way to everyone. It is something that has been growing for years (for me), and since we’ve been together (for us). As I mentioned in yesterday’s post there was another theme that developed while we were in Victoria, and I figured I would mention it in a separate post.

We have decided to move to Victoria next year. Whether this will happen is still yet to be seen, but we have made a conscious decision to try.

When we first met, we decided that we would look at moving to Toronto or Vancouver when I graduated. I wanted Toronto, Richard wanted Vancouver. I wanted Toronto simply because I had never been there and it would be a bigger adventure for me. But I eventually agreed to Vancouver. I love that city with a passion, and have wanted to move there for about five years (since I wrote in my livejournal five years ago that I would definitely be moving to Vancouver within a year). Plus! I wanted to live there during the Olympics.

As time went by, we settled into our life in Calgary and started looking at homes and condos in Calgary. We decided we wanted to live in the far NW, or possibly in High River since it was such a nice place. Unfortunately, housing prices doubled and we were priced out of the market. Even with our combined salaries, there was barely a one bedroom condo in the city that we could afford. We accepted that we would have to rent forever…

So, the idea of moving creeped into our minds again. We figured, if we had to be stuck renting for at least a decade or so, we might as well be doing it somewhere we were happy.

The fact is, neither of us are happy in Calgary. This city is made for “nine to five” straight people with kids. It’s a city where if you don’t make over $100 grand a year, you’re screwed. It’s about suburbs, and big box stores…and lets face it…the people here in this city are starting to turn sour. This place is becoming incredibly unfriendly.

I want a lifestyle more suited to my own. I want to live in a place where being gay isn’t considered a crime by the majority of citizens, where conservative governments aren’t worshipped and praised, where there’s little artsy coffee shops with open mic poetry on every corner, where recycling and organic foods are the norms (or at least popular) rather than the exception, where you aren’t laughed at if you are a vegan or want to drink wheat grass, where the weather isn’t so hot in summer and rain is a little more abundant, where I can see water rather than brown grassy fields, where people are friendly to a fault.

I’ll stop there. Now, the truth is, all of the above reasons were what made me want to live in Vancouver. What I didn’t expect when I went to Victoria that it was an even BETTER fit for me (sorry…us) than Vancouver. If I was still 21 years old, single, and ready to party, Vancouver would definitely be the place for me, but something quieter, and a touch more gentle is even more appealing to me now.

It took us about 0.4 seconds in Victoria to realize that we were in love with the place. What really sold us was the idea of living only a couple blocks from the water (a lot of cheap apartments are that close). The idea of walking to the beach and watching the lapping water would be a dream come true for me. The rain in winter, and mild summers (temperatures usually around 18-22, and almost never over 30) is perfect for me! The history is amazing and so incredibly fun to explore…and…well…y’all get the idea.

I can hear your thoughts now, “You’re uprooting your whole life based on 2.5 days in Victoria??!!? Are you crazy?”

Three things:

1.) Yes, I tend to be crazy.
2.) I have never been one to stagnate. I’m a chaotic person, so the thought of moving to a place that I barely know sounds fun and adventurous, rather than scary or stupid.
3.) I understand that my “tourist” view of Victoria could be a totally false view, but isn’t that the fun of moving to a new, completely different city? You get to explore and find out what the city is really like.

And let’s face it, this isn’t the first time I have schemed to move to a brand new city. I didn’t feel like digging up the livejournals, but as I said, one proclaims that I’d be moving to Vancouver, and another that I would be moving to Toronto. Perhaps I need to stop posting in livejournal…I think it’s a jinx!

So, that’s my story, it leaves a lot of things in my life up in the air. Right now, I need to focus on the last four months of school, and then I can worry about whether I apply for my RN license in BC or Alberta. Then it’s really just about getting a job (easy), and then finding a place to live (less easy), and then how to get all our stuff there (hard).

Ok, I have SO much to update, so I’m going to split this up into a couple posts. The first will update (with pictures) my trip to Victoria. The second will be a bit of an update on work–if I still have enough energy after talking about Victoria!!! I hope you enjoy the pictures.

We left on a Friday. I had to work a night shift before we left, so I didn’t arrive home until 8:00am Friday morning. I had a quick nap until noon and then started packing. Our plane was scheduled to leave at 8:30pm so at 6:00pm we were on our way out the door to get picked up by our ride. Just before we left, I checked our flight on the internet…it was delayed by an hour and a half!!! AHHHH! It was too late to stop our ride from picking us up, so we went to the airport, mentally ready to spend a few hours there. We had a good time at the airport though. We ate dinner, read magazines and just talked. I love the new Westjet wing of the airport!!!

Our flight finally departed and away we went! It was cloudy all the way, but over Vancouver, the clouds parted and I could the the Vancouver lights for miles in every direction, followed by the blackness of water before landing. What I always loved about flying to Vancouver, was the instant smell of the ocean as you leave the plain, but the smell was even stronger in Victoria! The airport there is so incredibly small, but adorable! We got to leave the plane on one of those rolling staircases, rather than the ramps.

At the airport you’re immediately welcomed with giant pots of flowers everywhere, and even better is the mild air that comforts you, rather than suffocating you. As we left the airport, we had to decide whether to take a cab or airporter. We decided to save $20 and take the airporter. BAD mistake! We landed at 10:30pm, and after waiting for the bus to fill, and about fifteen stops before ours, we finally arrived at the hotel after midnight. We would have been there about an hour earlier if we took a cab. Definitely worth $20!!!

(Note: Sorry for the details, they’re mostly for me to look back on in the future)

The hotel was perfect! It was the dark of night, but the lights of downtown Victoria stretched before me as I gazed from our balcony. From our room we could see the back of the Empress hotel, a slice of the harbor, and all the buildings up Douglas street. On the right is a picture of the view taken the next morning in the light.

We were a little too excited to go to bed quite yet, so we decided to go for a short walk up government street (the main street in Victoria–and the biggest tourist area). It was incredibly quiet except for the screams of local teenagers partying on a Friday night. As we would discover later, in Victoria, it’s the norm for groups of teenagers to wonder around downtown, screaming for joy constantly…seriously! We walked past the harbor and the empress hotel, up past all the closed tourist shops, and found a 7-11. This 7-11 will forever be our special place in Victoria…the first place we went:) By this time we were super tired and made our way back to the hotel in the deafening silence of Victoria at night (except the occasional scream from drunken teenagers…of course) Unfortunately, it was almost impossible to sleep with all the excitement, but finally, our first night faded into the next day…

The very first thing we decided we HAD to do was take the same path we took the night before, but in daylight. So, we walked past the empress (pictured on the left), the parliament (pictured on the right) and the inner harbor (there’s a picture at the very bottom of the post). Then it was up Government street to SHOP! There are so many neat little shops in Victoria. Some are really touristy and remind me of the shops in Banff. Others sell native art and sweaters etc. Then there’s stores that have been there for decades such as: Roger’s Chocolates, Old Morris Tobacconist, Murchies etc. Other stores were newer, but in buildings that were more than 100 years old (not new buildings that are made to look old…like in Calgary).

Our very favorite place was Bastion Square (picture on left). It was the location of the original Fort Victoria. The buildings are beautiful and ancient. It is filled with flowers, benches, little booths selling arts and crafts, little restaurants, and more than anything–ghosts! In Bastion square, we found our favorite coffee shop. In fact, it’s our new official favorite spot in Victoria (OK, at least it’s mine). It’s called “The Blue Carrot Cafe” (pictured on right). It’s in an old old building adjacent from where they used to hold Victoria’s public hangings (the unclaimed buried bodies are still in the ground). Its soup was voted best in Victoria, but the cappuccinos and sandwiches were amazing too! And the staff is super friendly too!

In fact, everyone in Victoria was incredibly friendly. I couldn’t believe how happy these people were! I have known people from Victoria, and the most amazing thing I could say about them was their positive attitude–always so happy. But now I know, it’s not them, but EVERYONE from Victoria!

I wanted to see a specific place called Fan Tan Alley in Victoria’s Chinatown (oldest in Canada). It’s a teeny weeny space between two buildings that is only four feet wide at times (picture on the left). It has the neatest collection of shops around! There was a little store that sold unique instruments, a pagan bookstore, a little chinese import store (we bought a wooden wind chime), a used CD store etc. It was the neatest little place. Apparently, it used to be filled with illegal gambling dens where Chinese men would play a game called “Fan Tan.” It involves betting on the number of buttons the dealer pulls out of a jar. On the right is “The Gates of Harmonious Interest” which marks the entrance to Chinatown.

Already exhausted, we made our way back to our hotel room for a short break. In the afternoon, we decided to walk in the opposite direction through Beacon Hill Park (left) until we found the ocean (Juan de Fuco Straight for the picky people). We found the most beautiful sight! Beautiful rocky beach, followed by gently lapping water, and in the background, the beautiful olympic mountains (I think that’s the right name for them). There’s a picture of the beach on the right. Richard hung out on a log, while I splashed in the water and took pictures. Can I just say…I was in heaven!

That night was our long awaited ghost tour. Richard and I have always been fascinated by ghosts and we were both anticipating this tour for weeks. Our host was a young man with a long black jacket, hat, and walking stick. He told us stories of the Empress Hotel, Roger’s chocolates, and particularly Bastion square. The most scary spot was a little alley called Helmcken Alley (Richard was brave enough to stand there for a picture the next day–I wasn’t). This alley was featured on the show “Creepy Canada” in an episode I clearly remember. Often, as people walk through the alley, they here the sound of chains scraping along the ground. When they turn around they see the ghost of a prisoner following them, dragging his chains. Many people standing in the alley feel a hand brushing their hair, or see the ghost of a boy who died in a well. It was a VERY scary spot and I couldn’t wait to get out of there! I could go on and on about the stories, but this post is long enough already!

The next day was more of the same. We spent a lot of time shopping up and down Government street, exploring all the little stores. On the right is a picture of me buying a crap load of tea at Murchies. I also bought some Haida art tiles, Chocolate from Rogers Chocolates (I have to admit, Bernad Callebaut is better), a new hoodie (I love the nice cool air there!), and other little bits of stuff. We discovered an amazing vegetarian restaurant called Rebar, an awesome sushi place with the best California rolls EVER, and a beautiful old stain glass windowed church that makes me want to be Christian again! Victoria is just so incredible….

In the afternoon, we actually went swimming in the hotel’s pool. I haven’t gone swimming in about ten years. It’s so much harder now that I’m old, fat, and inhale water too easily (seriously, I need to see a doc about it). But we had a BLAST playing around in the cool water (two fat hairy guys was enough to scare off all other pool users). Then we spent some time in the hot tub. Then, before dinner we went to the Royal BC museum.

That night, we decided to go to the gay bar “Prism” for a beer. It reminded me of what Boyztown used to be like when I started going there. Everybody new each other, there were all types of people, and it felt like a community. The drag queen was pissed because we left before her show, especially since she was planning to do back flips in stilettos. I told her that I have seen that before (true), and that we may come back (false). We wandered back to the hotel and fell into a beautiful sleep.

On our last day, we went to mile zero of the TransCanada highway (left). Just behind mile zero was a beautiful beach, which made the perfect place for us to spend time on our last day in Victoria (right). We went to Rebar again for wheat grass smoothies, and then ate soup and sipped cappuccinos at The Blue Carrot Cafe. Unfortunately, it was time to go, we took a cab to the airport and flew home, heads hanging low–I almost cried when I saw Calgary. I didn’t want to be in Calgary.

There’s another theme to this story that didn’t fit right in this post, so I will need to write another post about Victoria. More on that later.

Pictures I wanted to share, but didn’t make it into my story: Richard at the Beach, Victoria Inner Harbor while waiting for our ghost tour, Old Morris tobacconist, and a bear statue at the Royal BC Museum.

Click here to get the full version that includes the pictures