Nurse Sean (dot) com

10 years ago…

1) How old were you?
THEN: 17
NOW: 27

2) Where did you work?
THEN: Boston Pizza…waiting for my 18th birthday so I could be a waiter
NOW: The hospital

3) Where did you live?
THEN: Calgary
NOW: Calgary

4) How was your hair style?
THEN: longer than now
NOW: about 1/2 an inch

5) Did you wear contacts
THEN: no
NOW: yes

6) Did you wear glasses?
THEN: sometimes
NOW: sometimes

7) Who was your best friend?
THEN: My coworkers
NOW: My Partner
Which of your pets were still alive?
THEN: Licorice and Noel
NOW: Dora and Reba the transgendered guinea pigs, and Ralph the fish.

9) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: none
NOW: My big guy

10) Who was your celebrity crush?
THEN: hmm…good question…I don’t remember
NOW: Taylor Hicks for sure!

11) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: Definitely my gym teacher
NOW: *silence* I don’t want to incriminate myself
12) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: One…maybe…my ear may have been pierced
NOW: 0
13) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: 0
NOW: 0

14) What was your favorite band/singer?
THEN: Erasure
NOW: Erasure

15) Had you ever smoked a cigarette?
THEN: yes
NOW: yes

16) Had you ever gotten drunk?
THEN: Yes
NOW: Yes

17) Did you have sex (hetero or homo)?
Then: Yes…homo
Now: Yes…homo

18) What kind of car did you drive?
THEN:1980 Plymouth Volare
NOW: 1990 Pontiac Firefly

19) What was your weight
THEN: 160
NOW: 220

20) What was your favorite TV show?
THEN: ER
NOW: ER

21) Were you using the internet?
THEN: Yes
NOW: Yes

22) What is the one thing you told yourself 10 years ago you would never have done, but you ended up doing?
Then: I just can’t come up with anything.
Now: I started planning my future instead of letting life come as it wants to

So, yesterday was my first day at my first nursing job…and I hated it. The whole experience just stressed me out to the point of wanting to give up. Fortunately, I know myself better than that, and I know that I won’t give up. If there’s one thing I have learned in nursing, it’s that difficult situations will arise all the time, and you can’t run away. Instead, you just have to dig deep and find a way to fight.

It was completely expected, but I did not enjoy my preceptor for orientation (and beyond). His personality style, nursing style, etc. totally clashes with mine. He’s an extremely good nurse, just not my style. And yes, I believe that people with different styles can be equally amazing nurses. Every style has its strengths and weaknesses, and the presence of all these differences supports an increasingly well-rounded nursing care experience for the patient.

I digress….

I tend to be a laid back person, and he is an “in your face, doesn’t hesitate to tell you exactly what he doesn’t like about you” type of person. I laughed when he told me I rush to much…because I know it’s true. I laughed when he said I didn’t do a dressing very well…because I know it’s one of my biggest weaknesses.

But, I made it through, and I look forward to my “weaning” from orientation and branching off on my own a bit. I really like my style of care, and I want to implement it and practice it!

As for the unit itself, it’s definitely different from the medical unit I just left. It’s a general surgery unit, so it’s a slightly different flavor. I still need to shift my “taste-buds” over.

Ok, I just need to remember that at the beginning of almost every clinical experience I have felt extremely lost and out of place. I have always felt like I have no idea what I’m doing and that I have a mountain to climb. But after a couple weeks, I start to feel confident, comfortable, and calm.

Hopefully, at that point, I will be able to sleep again…and the knot will come out of my stomach.

*sigh*

I’m really fine though, just venting, just a little stressed….

I had so many plans to be social this weekend. Jeff was going to be going to Twisted Element (The newest gay bar in town) on Friday, and I have never been (I was such a Boyztown Boy), so I was going to show up…

At 9:00pm I crawled into bed an fell asleep. When will I ever again find the energy to go out at night? Saturday, I decided that I was for sure going to meet everyone at Jeff’s house for Spiral nights. But once again, when the time came to go, I just couldn’t muster the energy.

In fact, this whole weekend feels like I just ran a marathon, and then collapsed. Let’s be honest though, a month straight of clinical is pretty much a mental marathon. Writing papers, researching journals, writing case studies, falling asleep on piles of text books…all on top of brutally stressful days.

But it’s over, it’s done, it’s finished…I passed…

And I’m feeling incredibly confident as a nurse. I’m not feeling complete or fully competent, but I feel comfortable that I’m at the level I should be for someone who graduates in seven months.

So, for the next three months I will be working as an undergrad nurse, which is a bit like being paid for a clinical practicum. I have a preceptor who will work with me. At the same time, we have the opportunity to branch out and become increasingly independent.

Then, I have a four month long focused practicum in adult health…then I’m done!

It feels so great to be finished soon! I can’t wait to be making money instead of borrowing money. Wracking up the credit cards and student loans.

A bit of a dream came true for me this weekend. I did manage to leave the house once on Saturday afternoon to see the musical “Hair.” This was really the first musical that I fell in love with when I was a kid. I listened to my Dad’s old record of it over and over again before buying the CD. It’s not one of the most common musicals to be performed professionally, so in the fifteen years or so since I first heard it, it has never played in this city.

It was actually extremely well done. The singing was incredible (much better than usual for community theatre)! It was frantic, chaotic, and powerful. It deserved a bigger audience than the fifteen people or so that were their
The cast was literally bigger than the audience…I hope the evening crowds are better. They deserve it! I want to go again if anyone is interested.

By the way, I really really want to share my Waterton pictures with everyone. However, when I got home after the trip, I could not find my USB cord to transfer the pics to my computer. I searched every nook and cranny in the house. It was sitting on the coffee table when I left, and *poof! It was gone when I got back. After two weeks of looking for it over and over again, I’m admitting defeat. I’m going to have to buy a card reader when I can afford it.

SO frustrating! I really wanted to make my mini-Waterton movie!