Nurse Sean (dot) com

Well, it looks like I’m jobless.

I work a job that is exclusively evenings and weekends. It is very convenient this way because I have school during the days and can’t work. On top of that, my job has been flexible enough to allow me to take my clinical days off. Of all the negative things I feel towards the company, that’s one of the positives. Even though the flexibility has been draining away over the years.

So, the strike ended and three days later I received a call from a manager. She let me know that my return to work date would be Thursday. I was required to go to two days of “orientation” from 8am to 4pm. In her cheery voice, she said “give me a call to confirm you can make it. We’re so excited to get you back to work!”

My clinicals are every Thursday and Fridays, so I called her back to let her know I couldn’t make it for those days. “That’s ok” she said in her cheery voice, “We’ll get you back.” She sounded really nice, so I told her that I was willing to skip school or come in on the weekends. However, Thursday and Friday are just not possible. I work at the hospital and there’s nothing that could get me out of going. I would fail the course and have to drop out of school — seriously, this is not an exaggeration.

So, she calls me back in a couple days and says “Good news! We have rescheduled your return to work dates. They are as follows: Thursday and Friday from 8am to 4pm. I can’t wait to see you back at work!”

So, I call back. “I’m sorry,” I say, “I can’ make it on Thursdays and Fridays”

Her cheery voice is gone, “Well, if you can’t make it, your future with this company will be jeopardized, so you need to make that decision.”

I laugh at the determination, “I’m not dropping out of school for a part time job in a call centre.” I feel bad though, “I’m sorry.”

“I understand,” she says in tone that sounds like a salesperson that just needed ONE sale to save his job, and nobody will buy. “If you’re not there, we’ll assume you have resigned from your position.”

I’m basically being forced to resign.

And although it sounds like they’re nice people. I know this evil phone company better than that. They don’t want students, they want to contract out the department, they want to find the cheapest way to get rid of the labor. And since most of the staff are students and can’t work doing the day….this is the perfect way.

Evil company. Evil Evil EVIL!!!

A lot of people probably know the company I’m talking about, and would agree.

So, I’ve never had the experience of “spring cleaning.” I think the point of it is that around that time of year, summer’s coming, the air is fresh and warm. People throw open their windows, and clean from top to bottom. A fresh start. Very symbolic I guess.

Generally, I’m a complete slob. However, around Christmas time, I get my nesting spree. I clean, tidy, organize, decorate. That’s how the last couple days have been spent.

Right now I’m burning some wonderful candles, and nag champa incense (ah the memories that brings), and sitting back. I’m celebrating all that I’ve cleaned, and I’m cringing in delight at what I have left to do.

Cleaning always makes my brain feel cleaner. Life seems easier, everything just spins better. I think my timing for this “spring cleaning” is mostly based on the fact that I tend to be stressed out more at this time of year than any other time. It helps alleviate the stress.

Man, wait until after Christmas. That’s when it peaks. I tend to break out paint brushes and hammers. Actually, that would be a perfect time to move I think. It would give me a fresh palate to work with.

*ponders*

Actually, we really are thinking of moving. We’re in a basement suite right now. It’s dark, crowded, ugly, and in a crappy area. We’d much prefer to buy a house. But with both of us broke and me in school–who knows when that could ever happen. Not to mention the sky high prices of houses here.

By the way, I’m thinking of moving when I graduate. I’m pushing for Toronto (I’ve never been there, it’s big and exciting, more of an adventure). R. would rather go to Vancouver or Victoria. I can’t say I mind that idea. Vancouver IS my favorite city after all. It’s just not new and exciting. Plus, Toronto offers better internship and training programs for new nursing graduates.

So, all you Ontariariaians out there….maybe I’ll see you soon.

Maybe I’ll be stuck in this one horse town forever.

ok…fine…two horses…but still.

Anyway, I think I’ll pick another podcast and get back to cleaning. Ugh! I have to prepare for clinical tomorrow as well. I have to be up at 5:30.

*cries*

Ugh!

I just can’t seem to keep up with blogging these days!

The strike is over. I have to go back to work soon. I’m not happy. Picket pay was much better for me as a student. Flexible hours, more pay, and I was able to study on the job. Now we’re all going back, and for all intense purposes, we’ve lost the battle. Our new contract is horrible and makes me want to cry–but with half the company’s employees turning their back on us, what could we have done? I’m not sure that they understand that this crappy contract is their’s too.

School is alright. I’m totally sick of being a student nurse. MAN! I just want to get out there and actually start working. I certainly don’t feel ready, but I feel I will NEVER be ready until I just get out there and actually go through my trial by fire. My hand has been held long enough, and it’s time that I was left on my own.

Ok, in reality, there’s still about a million things to learn, but I’m just so frustrated by my lack (and need) of independence. I’m tired of having someone standing behind me, breathing down my neck at all times.

I’m in pediatrics right now. I’m working on a unit that cares for babies (0-2) with heart problems. It is totally fascinating stuff. It takes a lot more brain work than maternity (bleh). It is extremely challenging, and therefore interesting to me. Although, I still have “Oh my God the babies crying what do I do why won’t it stop!” moments. But as long as I take a step back and just remind myself that it’s ok when babies cry, I do fine.

I’m craving the adult lifestyle. I want to own a sensible car, a boring home in the suburbs, and a cute dog that I have to walk. I want to be decorating my house with annoying stylized designer Christmas ornaments while my Christmas baking cooks in the oven. My main worry would be that my mutual funds only went up 1% last year, and that I was only able to pay $150 of my whopping $200 credit card bill. Then it begins to snow…I grab some eggnog, put on the Regis Philbin Christmas CD and enjoy the glow of Christmas.

*sigh*

OR, I can just slowly pay my debt, desperately figure out how to buy groceries, and listen to the new Madonna CD.

I did apply for a new job yesterday. I decided to bight the bullet and start applying for Nursing Attendant jobs. I hate the idea of doing this, but it’s better than going back to my shitty job with the worst employer of all time. Basically, a nursing attendant gets eight patients. You go from patient to patient, bathing them, taking them to the bathroom, changing their diapers, making sure they are turned every two hours, and feeding them. Crappy job, but it’s a meaningful, rewarding, appreciated job.

I’m tired of floating around in the messy jello of “I wanna be your best friend but make profit too” management that truly doesn’t care.

It has been an intense couple of weeks…

I’m done maternity! I have never been so happy to be finished a rotation. It was occasionally hellish, but for the most part, I was simply just disgusted by the medical system and its treatment of women. Take my word for it, they were well cared for, but they just weren’t treated they way I think they should be. The whole experience is far too medicalized. However, I loved the babies! I adored holding them and taking care of them.

I thought I was going to fail my maternity clinical rotation (ironic since I have no intention of working there, so the thought of repeating it was horrible…even more so was the thought that I would graduate a year late…without my friends). I just made to many BAD mistakes in the last couple days of clinical. However, I owned up to these mistakes, and appreciated the strong lesson. And no, I didn’t kill anybody, or even come close. In the end, I received an A- which I’m quite pleased with.

Now I’m at the Children’s Hospital. I’m working with the little babies–I specially requested the newborn cardiology unit. I’m very excited to have the chance to get better at infant care. I had a strange inner, almost spiritual hunch that my time learning about nursing babies just wasn’t finished yet. So, we’ll see how that goes. I am sure that it will prove to be quite intense and stressful. More so than maternity, but at the same time, that much more interesting.

As for work…still picketing. We received a tentative agreement to vote on. Unfortunately, it was a horrible agreement that would make our workplace even more disrespectful. As a union, we voted against the contract with a 50.3% “no” vote. So, three months on strike and counting. Winter will be tough! Temperatures haven’t even started dipping below zero during the day and it’s already tough to spend a good length of time outside. But, we decided to keep fighting…and we will.

I get to teach a class on magick tonight! Sweet! I love teaching. It feels so good and natural to be a leader in my grove. I’m a Leo, so leadership fits me like a glove. The only problem is I can’t stand conflict, so sometimes I’m afraid of it, which sometimes affects leadership abilities.

Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for now. I really wish I was posting more. Darnit! I just jinxed it! Whenever you mention wanting to post more, it always means that posts will dwindle for awhile…

we’ll see.