Nurse Sean (dot) com

It has been such a long time, and there’s just so much to say. So many things have been going on! I doubt I’ll be able to talk about everything. I think the main reason I’ve been so busy is that I bought a video game. Oops! Big mistake!

I bought “World of Warcraft” finally taking a trip into the world of online RPG. Uhm…hello…Crack is less addictive! I have been having a blast–to the detriment of life. I rarely work on school, I ignore R. I barely even watch TV anymore! Now THAT’S a miracle.

Well, I never miss Days of Our Lives…of course.

I purchased a .Mac account today. I hope it’s worth it. To be honest, I really haven’t used it during the free trial, but I felt that I COULD get used to it. I kept saying “I may as well not do that…I’ll only have this account a couple months” etc. For example, I get storage space. I can make a wepage. I can store files. Whatever I would like.

So, in an attempt to finally use it, I’m going to simultaneously post this using iBlog. I’ll see how it works, and if it looks nice etc. If so, I will continue to use space to create a blog that isn’t hosted by a blog service…blah blah blah.

School is crazy. I’m finding Maternity a huge let-down. I had such a positive, supportive view of the medical system in this country, but after seeing just how medicalized child-birth has become (even when unnecessary), I just feels sick. Episiotomies, Epidurals, Formula feeding….ick. There’s nothing wrong with using these things if necessary; however, they’re rarely necessary. But, they are pushed on women as though they are the only solution.

I have become a strong advocate for natural child birth, no episiotomy, and for free midwife service for all! It seems that OB’s just don’t always do the best job. Well, not the ones I saw.

It makes me sick! They way they treat these women as though they are completely sick. They’ve made pregnancy and childbirth an illness…something to be treated medically…and that’s completely inappropriate.

*gets off soap box because he doesn’t have time to type everything he wants to say*

This is my last week in maternity actually. Next week I begin pediatrics, and I’m REALLY looking forward to it. To be honest, I became nurse because I wanted to care for sick people. I’m not interested in treating the “illness” of pregnancy.

*Throws soap box out of window because it won’t go away*

So, I may not be on strike much longer. They have a tentative agreement for us to vote on. Unfortunately it’s WORSE than the previous contract we rejected. The problem is that the union is running out of money, and can’t afford to fight much longer. So, it looks like we have to choose between admitting defeat, or going down fighting.

I will always choose to go down fighting. Besides, I like picketing. I get a lot of studying done while I’m sitting out there on my lawn chair. Plus, I NEVER want to go back to working for them. They’re a pathetic, greedy, uncaring company. They make me sick too.

Lots of things make me sick these days. I think I’m done being such a neutral person. I think I’m defining my opinions, choosing my sides, finding my voice.

anyway, I could type for days because so much has been going on. I need to keep this a sane length. Besides, I need to go play “World of Warcraft”

hehehehe

Today was one of those days that just didn’t stop from start to finish! I’m still go go go go go!!! But I feel a renewed sense of energy and optimism.

Class was great today. My favorite professor was lecturing today, so I really enjoyed my time there. I’ve decided that if I could choose one person from the University of Calgary nursing faculty to be my mentor, I think I’d pick her. I like her scientific, no nonsense academic mind, and brutally funny Quebecois humour. Yes, it’s true, I respond amazingly well to the oddness of Quebecois humour. I just simply “get it.” Plus, Quebecois folk are just plain classier.

Anyway, I had a group meeting regarding the religion and nursing stuff. For our presentation we will be asking the question “Is it appropriate to include religion in nursing practice?” We’re going to take the position that it isn’t appropriate. It’s so much juicier and controversial that way.

Then we had a town hall meeting for third year nursing students. I confirmed my placement in Nursing 406 for Spring 2006. This means my final specialization practicum will take place in Fall 2006. Meaning…I graduate in December 2006!!!! The light at the end of the tunnel is just a pinpoint…but it’s getting bigger and closer all the time.

It feels so real being able to give a date for my graduation, instead of just estimating “between 10 months and 1.5 years.” It’s also a little scary. I mean jeeze…in just over a year, I’ll be set loose on the nursing world.

Actually, it won’t even be that long! In eight months after I’m done Nursing 406, I can work as an undergrad nurse. You get $20 an hour (reduced from an RN’s $30 and hour) to do the same job. Oh God! I have eight months to get ready. Well, to be honest, Nursing 406 is one of our longest, most intense practicums. So, hopefully I’ll feel better prepared after that course.

I spent the afternoon working on the Samhain party for The Calgary Spiric Community. I’m the organizer. So, the afternoon was spent delegating some tasks and creating the fliers. Lots of work, but YAY! Sometimes I feel like I fit leadership positions like a glove. That feeling usually drains away gently, and slowly, but surely.

Of course, what would a day be without school work. I spent some time on a self evaluation, did some research, and prepared the minutes from our group meeting and sent them out.

Now I’m just watching TV.

I’m very very very mad by the way. Both the Red Sox and the Calgary Flames lost. Looks like the Red Sox won’t be getting very far in this year’s playoffs. Then again, I said that last year and they had the most amazing comeback of all time. But can they do that two years in a row?

I doubt it!

Can you believe I’m posting again? I can go weeks without posting and then all of a sudden I just have bursts of desire to write in my journal. The problem is, I really have nothing new to say. I’ve really done nothing but work on some projects.

I had to finish reviewing assignments and giving feedback on them (I am sponsoring two people for Spira). That took awhile. The assignment was an opinion piece on modern paganism. One of the two assignments was great–written well, and well formed–however, I disagreed with some of it, so I had to write out my arguments. The second one was a little disappointing, so I came up with several questions on the topic she chose. they were quite intense questions that should force her to write a lot more.

The other project I was working on was for school. Yah, it was that religion thing for nursing. I just can’t seem to find an appropriate angle to work with. What I DO know, is that incorporating religion into nursing is appropriate, expected, and easy…as long as you’re Christian. That’s the crux of the issue. If I want spiritual care while I’m in the hospital, my only choice is a Christian minister. Sure, they work under the philosophy that they are non-denominational, and multi-ethnic; however, there will always be a bias when your philosophies are based in Christianity. In fact, in the Alberta program, you need a Bachelor’s degree and at least one year of a Master’s of Divinity course.

Maybe my career goal will be to become the first pagan hospital chaplain.

I digress–the problem is how to slant this issue so that it relates to nursing care. I fear that we’ll have to make a painful topic change. But, as long as we try our best, and have no other option, than that’s fine.

BTW! What’s with Amazing Race? Two episodes and they STILL haven’t left the US. BORING! My favorite part of the show is seeing all the exotic, culture shockish countries they go to throughout the duration of the show.

Ugh…ok…I’m going to finish watching “Commander and Chief” and then I’ll be off to bed.

I’m tired and definitely need a nap. I’ll get one soon. Actually, I should be doing some research for a group project (Does anyone else hate group projects, and deny their usefulness too?). It’s for a professional issues class. We’re working on a topic that centres around religion. It’s a little bit “fluffy” for my tastes, but it really is hard to come up with solid topics in nursing.

I’m hoping to put a spin on the topic, claiming that there is no room for religion in health care. Which seems simple enough, but imagine if people weren’t allowed to have their priests visit them in the hospital to pray for health. The problem is that people like me would never be able to gather all 10 members of their pagan grove, circle round, light dozens of candles and incense, then chant and meditate upon my health. The logistics would be a nightmare, let alone the fact that half the patients would panic that such a thing was happening. But, why should one be allowed and not the other. My view is that we need to accept ALL religious healing practices, or none at all–and there’s no way to accept all religious healing practices–so I say none at all.

I hope that makes sense. The thing is, hospitals are a government institution (in Canada anyway), and government institutions are supposed to separate themselves from religious practice. Is it fair to deny people their religion when they’re sick?

The main competing argument is that nursing care is meant to be holistic, encompassing body, mind, and spirit. Including spirituality into the patient’s care is expected. So, where do we go from there?

Anyway, I hope it goes well. To be honest, I hate the process, but it’s just a means to an end.

I downloaded those William Faulkner audiobooks from audible a few weeks ago–the ones that Oprah had for her book club. I just remembered them as I was typing. Now I’m mad. I really really want to listen to them, but who knows when I will have time! ARG!

Well, I don’t really have anything new or exciting to write about today. All I’ve done is go to class, gossip with nursing buddies, buy guinea pig food, fix my Internet connection, play with photoshop, and watch the Red Sox get walked all over by the White Sox (So far anyway…there’s three innings left….silly Red Sox).

So, I’m going to go have that nap.

Edit:

Red Sox fans…don’t worry…all will be well…patience

I played around with the layout of this site (If you’re looking at the actual site, you’re probably thinking “DUH!”). It’s really the first time I’ve ever tinkered with it myself, instead of using skins, or someone else’s banners. I’m not sure I like the colours and style. I honestly prefer simplicity over complicated, so I’m wondering if it’s too busy. I attempted to go for fall colours, which are my favourite, but the jury is still out on whether they fit into a blog. Anyway, don’t hesitate to warn me if if totally sucks…

I used Adobe Photoshop. Definitely not the most user friendly program when you’ve never used it before, but I played around and had some success. Unfortunately, it’s only the 30 day trial and there’s NO way I’ll be able to afford the actual product. If anyone out there knows a free downloadable product that does similar sorts of things, but much simpler, let me know. I don’t plan to do anything fancy.

So, yesterday, October 2nd, was a very important day in my life. I was voted in as a Root of my grove. I am a leader now–mentally, intellectually, and spiritually. It was very exciting. I had to stand in front of everyone and give a speech about why I deserve to be voted into this position etc. It was a very powerful moment, but also a little sad. I’ve reached the top, there’s nowhere left to go, there’s no heights left for me to climb for. Except, of course, for those that I give myself, but they are all internally motivated, rather than motivated by external rewards.

I felt really bad last night. I came home an hour after I told R. that I would. I should have called, but I never did. Poor R. was so worried about me. I’m just not used to letting people know that I will be late. I’m not used to the idea of someone sitting at home wondering if I’m alive. I’m just not used to being dependent (rather than independent). So, I made the promise that I would always call from now on if I will be late. I really don’t have an excuse not to–I do have a cell phone.

I said to A. last night “I’m realizing just how happy I was when I was single.” I think, when I was single, I assumed that I was unhappy and that getting together with someone would be a cure all. I think I’m just realizing that I never was unhappy alone; my unhappiness was just an illusion that I created for myself. Perhaps I really am just a whiny drama queen!

Anyway, I have crap loads of reading, and research, and evaluations to do for school, so I better get going. I asked around at school today–I’m definitely not the only person feeling completely overwhelmed by this semester. Not being alone in this is the best feeling I’ve had all semester. Man! I’m going to be sad when I graduate and my nursing friends will be scattered and distant. I really do think that you develop a uniquely strong bond in nursing school.

Anyway…blah blah blah…I’ll see you later.

Pyrsos

I am skipping work today. Well, you can’t really call it work. Generally, it involves sitting in a lawn chair, sipping Ginseng tea and reading a text book. It’s 8 degrees out. It’s rainy and cloudy. I love it, but it’s miserable if you need to sit in it for eight hours. On top of that, I am stressed out to the breaking point because of school–and it’s only been three weeks.

Yesterday was my first day on the postpartum unit after spending two weeks on labour and delivery. I saw both vaginal deliveries and C-sections. It was actually quite surreal, knowing that I was present for the birth of a child. I think that my brain knows that it was something special, but really hasn’t been able to process it yet–so that it still just feels like just another day at the hospital.

I remember sitting behind the glass in the observation room, watching a C-Section. When the baby was removed from the the woman and took it’s first breath, I felt an uncontrollable urge to stange and salute (no, I didn’t actually salute) her entry into the world.

Postpartum is a completely different experience. We spend the day with the women, partners in frustration as they desperately try to figure out breast feeding. I’m useless at this complicated art, so I just do my best. Usually an experienced nurse will at some point swoop in and fix all the problems and the baby will feed just fine. After several weeks of this, I’m sure I’ll pick up on all the secrets of breast feeding.

Someone asked me, “What is it like to be a man on this type of unit–breastfeeding, boobs, babies, vaginas–don’t you feel uncomfortable and wierd.” I thought about it, and realized that as a nurse, I’m allowed to treat a stab wound, even though I’ve never been stabbed…I can assist in brain surgery, even though I’ve never needed it myself…I can teach a child with asthma different techniques to prevent an attack, but I’ve never had asthma. So, why not a man on a maternity unit–even though I’ll never have a baby or breastfeed. Make sense?

Anyway, so, I’m skipping picket duty this week. I’m really sick of the good fight. I just don’t have any room in myself for passion–other than nursing.

I guess I’ll use that time to catch up on some reading (school of course–God forbid I read something extracurricular and enjoyable), and do some housecleaning. I’d like to do something fun today, such as catch a movie, or go to the mall. Oh well, that’s for people that aren’t in school.

I will just go and pout then!