Published by Sean on 20 Nov 2004
I’m exhausted.
I always feel this way lately.
Stress is the culprit.
My body aches, my eyes burn, my head spins with a million things all at once. The worst of it occurs while I’m trying to fall asleep. I go over everything in my life that went wrong that day. I never seem to be able to go over the things that went right.
Oh, I’m sure there were things that went right, but my mind has a very selective memory and chooses not to remember. As I fell asleep last night, all I could do was visualize starting an IV medication from start to finish. Over and over again. It more or less goes like this.
1.)Check compatability.
2.)Inspect IV site for leaking, infiltration, or phlebitis.
3.)Hang it above the other bag.
4.)unwrap new tubing from bag.
5.)Using sterile technique attach the yellow thingy.
6.)Clamp tube.
7.)Pull blue tab off medication.
8.)Pull off cap and spike bag.
9.)Fill drip chamber half way.
10.)Very slowly release clamp, allowing medication to flow to tip.
11.)Reclamp tube.
12.)Sterilize Y port
13.)Insert yellow thingy into the port.
14.)Set up IV machine (another million steps here).
15.)Unclamp tubing.
These are most of the steps…and this routine gets played over and over and over and over in my head. As well as every time I’ve forgotten one of those steps. Then I stress out because I didn’t notice that my patient’s incision was infected..my instructor had to inform me…or that I didn’t have time to do 2200h medications…
The list goes on and on. I’m tortured by my errors and failures, like living nightmares.
Just once, I’d like to leave a day of clinical feeling as though I really did an amazing job. Instead, I leave feeling as though I’ve learned through my mistakes and failures. I’m sure this is an ok way to learn, but there is SO much pressure on us to be perfect….instantly….
And it doesn’t help that there are a lot of nurses out there that treat us like shit. Perhaps they were treated that way as students and they feel as though it gives them the right to pass that on to us….
but for FUCK sakes…if you don’t want to deal with students, go to a specialty that is too advanced for us to make an appearance there…the ER…ICU…something like that.
And to some of you horribly stuck up nurses out there…if you don’t pull that stick out of your ass, I will. Learn to smile sometimes!!! Make a joke. I theorize that nurses have a BIG giant chip on their shoulder because they have an inferiority complex in regards to them versus doctors. As a result, they compensate by walking around with their nose up in the air……treating everyone around them like military subordinates…including patients.
Here’s a clue…if you want people to respect you…stop wearing outfits with cartoon characters, flowers, ladybugs, etc. etc. etc. on it.
I look around at students in my class, and I already see them being socialized into the little prissy monsters that nurses tend to be. They belittle their professors, fellow students, and do nothing but bitch. You guys need to take a close look at yourself before people like me begin to hate you and disrespect you.
Want to know a secret…the nurses with the advanced degrees, managerial jobs, and the respect of their colleagues…are the ones who are calm, relaxed, humorous, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Anyway…that’s just the tip of the ice burg of my ranting.
This rant applies to specific nurses I’ve dealt with who have nearly destroyed any desire of continuing in this profession…and to fellow students who need to be shaken and introduced to reality.
This rant DOES NOT apply to all nurses.
To all the nurses out there who have been gracious to me, helped me learn, let me learn from my mistakes…gently….and who have the ability to laugh, joke, and tell funny stories about themselves. I owe you my future career.
